if you're fortunate enough to stay in any one of the beautiful upscale hotels in Japan you will check in, have your bags delivered to your room, and no doubt after such a long fright...er, flight, you'll head for the bathroom to freshen up.that's when you'll discover The Washlet.
made by Toto (the toilet makers, not the band) it's a marvelously modern butt washer. as you sit on the washlet you see the arrangement of soft-touch buttons pictured above on a handle which juts out on one side of what is otherwise a normal looking toilet.
the idea is a simple one: you press the button marked Spray, (the one with the adorable icon of a little butt being sprayed) and a soothing controlled-by-you spray washes your butt. then you move your little butt around to reach the appropriate crevice. when you've had enough you press Stop.
there are controls for the amount of water pressure as well as the water temperature. the newer more elaborate models have a blow dryer as well. there is also a bidet control for cleansing your front butt, as my seven-year-old calls it.
one thing you don't want to do is to press the Spray button without being seated on the washlet. for those of you curious enough to see how the washlet actually works, this will result in a lightning-fast arm coming out from the back of the washlet and an immediate spray to your face.
how do I know this? I'll never tell.
as comical as all of this seems, the actual result is a very satisfying feeling of clean like you've never know before. just another amazing facet of japanese innovation which a clean freak such as I can appreciate.
if you'd like to Seymour Butts (a guy I went to high school with)
go to www.washlet.com
clean is happy.
Hey, they have a couple of dealers in Nashville. Are you going to add one to your home? Or do you already have one????
ReplyDeletesounds like a new term of endearment...."come here, my little washlet". the website is good. Yoko like.
ReplyDeletewelcome home!
THOUGHT THE GUY WAS SEYMOUR HEINIE
ReplyDeleteOH I'M SORRY HE;S THE INVENTOR OF THE MINI-SKIRT--GARY
Gary, go ahead, and tell Adrian your big news. Oh okay, since you are obviously very busy at work, I will tell him for you. Ade, Gary can get you your very own Toto wholesale.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas?
And darn it, I was going to use the Pretz pic today in my blog (I got my computer back. Yay!). So I'm telling you in advance - the pic of Biff under the Pee sign is MINE. I'm posting it later tonight after I get out from under a week's worth of email due to my computer crash last week.
And here's some advice - if you aren't doing it already with your computer, BACK UP EVERYTHING! I could cry at what I lost...I'm just happy I uploaded all of my photos to Photobucket before my crash and had the good sense to email my latest novel to myself...but I lost so much music and other stuff I had to "let it go" or I'd be physically ill right now.
Okay, I'm done. Carry on.
Oh. Wait. I do have one more thing to add. I listened to the Tokyo shows on my walk into town this morning. I had freaking chills. I did not think this trio could get any better but you've reached some kind of penultimate level which defies any and all logic...I've never heard music that incredible in my life.
I do believe I will be joining the trio in Mexico on September 8-9...I need to see/hear this for myself. Again. And again.
ADRIAN-SHOULD REMEMBER MY LINE OF WORK--BESIDES-RAISING-WITH YOU ROBIN-TWO THIRDS OF THE "POWER TRIO"-YES---I SELL TOILETS---BUT UNFORTUNATELY --I SELL KOHLER--AND KOHLER-AND TOTO--ARE ARCH ENEMIES-
ReplyDeleteSO WE CAN'T STOCK THE ITEMS THEY MAKE --BUT I CAN STILL GET THEIR PRODUCTS------SEEMS LIKE ALL WHO WENT TO JAPAN ARE--"STUCK"--HA-
ON THE SPECIAL SEAT-LOVE YOU ALL-GARY
Gary, I need to give you a screen name so you can instant message with me since now, for the first time ever, you have overcome your hatred of computers to post on Adrian's blog.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's true. Before Adrian started Elephant Blog, Gary would not go on a computer EVER unless forced by his employer. I set him up with a gmail account just so he could post here, but as an added benefit, he now gmails me once or twice a day to tell me he loves me. (Awwww)
But since you brought it up, would you please bring me home a Kohler catalogue tonight so I can pick out a new toilet, tub and sink for the upstairs bathroom?
I'm deadly serious.
Love,
Your better half
oh yeah, and gary, while you're at it could you stop off and pick up a loaf of pumpernickel? we're fresh out.
ReplyDeletelove,
ade
We need milk.
ReplyDeleteYou know, there's a song in this story that I'm sure you can extract. :)
ReplyDeleteHave you noticed the various types of bathrooms, like the old flowing trough in the floor ? Yes, the washlet is a nice option and it saves trees. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI get all teared up when Robin keeps rubbing it in that she has
recordings of the trio shows. I think she just wants to hurt me.
On another, off topic note, for those who can't make it to Tokyo:
Mercy Lounge Presents:
The Long Players perform Derek Dominos Layla
Friday, Jul 27, 2007 9:30 PM CDT (8:00 PM Doors)
at Mercy Lounge
I would consider investing in a washlet if they could implement a pitch to voltage converter with a midi out.
ReplyDeleteisn't Seymour Butts 20 years your junior?
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seymore_Butts
Coffee doesn't taste as good when it's in my nostrils. LOL, the Toto web site was too much. I still have the music from that site playing on another tab. It's making me happy. It's making me ... perhaps it's the coffee.
ReplyDelete... I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had ...
Here in Texas we have a grocery store chain called HEB, the initials of the founder: Harry Butt.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: if this toilet does not have a blow dryer, then how do you proceed from the satisfying sense of clean to the practical feeling of dry?
third relation:
ReplyDeleteI've been told some people prefer the leaves of the acacia tree. but I like this newfangled "toilet paper".
Whoa, you are going first class!
ReplyDeleteI saw these toilets when shopping for a bathroom remodel a couple years ago, and I swear, if kids had anything to say about it, every household in the world would have one of those fancy toilets.
Wasn't so long ago that the Sears catalog did double duty. :)
Ahh, 21st Century...
Do any of them play music like
ReplyDeleteFixin A Hole, I Feel Fine, Happiness Is A Warm Gun, Twist and Shout??
Imagine getting residuals for....
residuals....
I want one. I can't believe it was forced censored in Times Square.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.unboundedition.com/content/view/1770/50/
So stupid.