the bandmaster hat...

I love the YouTube videos so many of you have posted.
my friend dave lefkowitz (former manager of primus)
referred to the power trio videos as
a YouTube phenomenon
because of the abundance of postings.

there are two problems for me personally:
(1.) most YouTubes cannot replicate the sound or power
of the bass and (2.) I hate the way I look.

the problem is my hair or lack thereof.
I'm not really as vain as that sounds, but let's face it:
BALD is beautiful (witness sir levin)
BALD-ing is pathetic. (witness sir belew)

I suppose I could continue to be good natured
about it and simply wear one of those
"solar panel for a love-machine" t-shirts
or continue to make my joke that I'm wearing
a balding wig underneath which I have a full head of hair.
or simply surrender to the implications of aging
(i.e. death) and endure looking horrid on
the world-frickin-wide web!

but I've decided instead to try wearing a hat onstage.
not just any hat, but a hat that has meaning for me.
here's the story: from 6th grade through 8th grade
I was in the Ludlow Jr. High Marching Band.
(ludlow is a rivertown at the top of kentucky).
I loved donning my band uniform
(except for the white spats) and parading about.

my aim in life at age 12 was to be the "band director".
as such I would teach the students all the different
instruments, chose pieces of music to play,
choreograph the halftime show pieces and most
importantly, I would wear the bandmaster hat.

here's the rub:
I purchased the hat pictured above. I love it,
but it won't arrive for another 10 weeks!
so......
if any of you know of a hat of this type
(classic cadet style, size small, new or used)
which can be purchased now
please let management know asap.

I'm desperate to be beautiful.